Yes, God.

When I was little, my grandfather would hold prayer meetings in his living room. These were the kind of meetings that everyone got down on their knees on whatever space of furniture was available and you could barely stand up when it was over from it lasting so long. Though as a kid, this was excruciating, I would give anything now to pray with him. I am forever grateful that I had exposure to people in my life that were prayer warriors.

Like many of us, I rarely have a moment where I'm not busy. Cleaning, kids, work, obligations, church, grocery shopping....the list goes on. My prayer life is active and continuous throughout my day in a very casual manner. I talk to God about anything and everything. But it has recently been on my heart to take more time to spend with God in the quiet which is either really super early or really super late in the day when everyone else is sleeping. I don't have the type of prayer life that my grandfather had and I so desperately want it.

Yesterday, the Lord presented a new journey to me and I was so excited. I was driving home and just declaring out loud..."Yes, God. I will do it. And God, give me boldness. You didn't create me to be timid." And there it was. So I committed to waking up early to spend time in devotion and true prayer...quiet time with just Him.

But then the dog was up during the night and I was exhausted from the day before and God surely understood. Thirty minutes lately I made my way to sit down and read my devotional and (I cannot make this stuff up) it was titled "An Unguarded Spirit". It talked about Jesus in the garden with Peter asking him to pray with him but the disciples were sleeping.

Matthew 26:40-41 -- Later, he came back to his three disciples and found them all sound asleep. He awakened Peter and said to him, "Do you lack the strength to stay awake with me for even just an hour? Keep alert and pray that you'll be spared from this time of testing. You should have learned by now that your spirit is eager enough, but your humanity is weak."

The Lord showed me humility this morning. First, he showed me this scripture reference this morning which opened my eyes to how serious it was to follow through with my commitment and relationship with Him. Next, I felt gratitude. You see, no one is truly qualified except by the power of Jesus Christ that is within us. Two years ago I didn't feel like God could use me for anything, but he took this broken vessel and has entrusted me to be his disciple.

Lord, help my prayer life be more intentional. Give me a burning desire to spent that dedicated, quiet time with you so that you can give me the direction and wisdom I need to walk boldly in my declarations to you.