Very Good

In the many times I have read the creation story, I haven't focused so much on the repetition of the words and the organization of the text like a beautifully written poem. God had created and organized light and darkness, the land and sea, the animals and plant life, the moon, stars, and the sun and with each he said it was good (pleasing, useful). Then he made man and woman, in His own image granting them certain authority.

"God saw everything that He had made, and behold, it was very good and He validated it completely. And there was evening and there was morning, a sixth day." - Genesis 1:31

This morning as I read verse 31, I looked over something I had written about "very good" with a little note that said, ENOUGH. God created me not to be perfect, but enough. The reason that just feels planted in my soul this morning, is that I feel relief. Let me explain.

I just wrote about anxiety and God has provided several opportunities for me to speak on a platform recently to demonstrate his work in me. I prefer to write. I prefer to prepare and hand my work to someone who would read it on my behalf. Just like Moses who had a stutter, God can move people who you wouldn't normally select to do a work because it's not them, it's Him.

Just a week ago I had to face my anxiety and fear and speak. It was a small group, but I felt my anxiety creeping in days in advance so I began to ask others to pray. Leading up to the event, I jumped on the treadmill and just talked to God. I listed to a worship song up until just minutes prior to having to start. And when it was time, I could physically feel that pressure in my chest subside as words began to come out of my month and my presentation was flawless.

Afterwards I began to thank God for taking my anxiety away, until it hit me. What if it's not in His plan to take away my anxiety completely? Sometimes God doesn't remove the things that cause us to trip up but he makes provisions to overcome them one day at a time. I think this is true for so many things that we want God to take away. But if God just took away everything, then how would we build a life around being dependent on Him? And there is the relief! I don't have to carry my shortcomings because I am ONLY complete by partnering with my creator. He is my source!

The true gift is saying, "God, I am very good, just the way you created me. I am not perfect and I wasn't designed to be perfect. When I struggle, I trust you to do more than I ask or imagine, because of your Holy Spirit that lives in me."

Would it be nice to rid of this fear of speaking in front of people forever? Absolutely. But doesn't every good thing we have, our children, our careers, our relationships, have a journey? There is beauty in what God does as we place our trust in Him and walk into the place He calls us to.